The Rest of the Story
It has been 13 years since I met my friend for dinner and learned about Bariatric Weight-Loss Surgery. I’ve experienced many “proud” moments during this time as well as a few disappointments. My life has definitely been improved and most likely the surgery “saved my life”. It certainly saved my quality of life.
Any type of surgery has risks. Bariatric surgery has additional risks, not because of the surgery itself, but because virtually everyone that undergoes this type of surgery has other complicating factors such as heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol and more. In my case and I would expect in most cases, the benefits far out weigh the risks.
Current Weight and Struggles
I currently weigh between 215 and 220 pounds. Not exactly where I would like to be, but close enough considering where I was. I have yo-yo’ed some during the intervening years, but when I put my size 32″ jeans on in the mornings, I still think about the size 56″ jeans that I once wore. When I let my weight creep up occasionally, the thought of 56″ jeans is my primary motivation.
I usually donate old clothing to one of the local charities, but when I no longer needed a size 56, I “DESTROYED” them. I was angry at the jeans (really myself). They were a reminder of my personal failure that had led me to them. I’m still angry that I allowed myself to get there by always justifying the next size with “It will just be temporary”. This is a hard habit to break. I’ve even done it during the past year when I found myself needing a size 36 and feeling that familiar tightness around my waist that meant I really needed a bigger size.
It is a daily struggle, though I do still have the continued benefit of a reduced stomach pouch that keeps the volume of food that I eat to an acceptable level. If I try to eat more than a reasonable sized meal, I feel a tightness and pain that reminds me to stop.
The primary issue that I face nowadays is my choices of food. My wife is an extremely good cook, however, her meal choices are loaded with carbohydrates and fatty fried foods. I even purchased a commercial deep fryer for her because she had always wanted one.
I also no longer experience dumping from consuming sugars or fats. That was actually one of the best advantages of Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass surgery. It was impossible for me to eat even a single Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, much less an entire bag. It has been about 5 or 6 years since I have found myself retching up that thick white liquid.
Support Group and Personal Connections
The previous posts in this series covered the highlights of the start of my weight-loss journey. There have been many others. I have continued to learn about nutrition, food choices, exercise, psychology and many other things related to my journey. Most of the rest of this post will be various stories, recommendations and lessons learned along the way. I will also be publishing additional detailed articles on subjects like nutrition, recipes, exercise, types of bariatric surgery, etc that I will research for you thoroughly as well as add my personal knowledge and experiences.
Connecting with others that were going through a similar journey was an important part of my life for the first few years after my surgery. In the bariatric support group that I joined, I have made some life-long friends and unfortunately recently lost one of those friends to health complications.
Terry was about my age and had struggled with his weight for many years. He had been encouraged by a bariatric surgeon to attend the support group as part of his pre-surgery process. It was during one of our meetings that I learned how bariatric surgery had saved his life even before having the surgery. Terry’s surgeon required that he be cleared for surgery by a cardiologist. During this cardiology exam it was discovered that Terry had a life threatening heart problem. He was actually rushed into surgery within hours and fortunately narrowly escaped death. Even a few more days would have probably killed him.
This heart surgery delayed Terry’s bariatric surgery by an significant amount of time though he did eventually have the surgery and lost a considerable amount of weight. It was too late to save his leg from the complications of diabetes though. Just when he was getting fit again, he had his leg amputated. Other complications that still lingered finally claimed Terry’s life a year or two ago. He did get to enjoy some improvement in his quality of life, but it was just too late to reverse the damage that he had already incurred.
Kristin was another member of the support group. She and I had met previously when she worked for a local chiropractor that I visited occasionally. It was a pleasant surprise to see her attending the support group. I have always been attracted to Big Beautiful Women and Kristin was no exception even though she was morbidly obese. I do remember that she didn’t seem to smile when I first met her. She did start to show a more jovial side of herself at support group meetings though.
As I mentioned in a previous post, she and I had surgery within a few days of each other. We quickly became “buddies” and frequently chatted face-to-face and online about our common successes. After almost 13 years, we still pop in to chat and say hello every once in a while as well as keep up with each others lives through social media. Kristen lost well over 200 pounds after her surgery, but has had a few ups and downs over the years similar to me. She does smile a lot more nowadays though.
Support Group Experiences
Peggy was the leader of our group. She was a bariatric surgery success story when I met her and had lost over 200 pounds as well. As with many others that lose significant amounts of weight, Peggy had a large amount of excess skin that remained behind.
Dr Green, that sponsored our group, had a tradition of giving gifts at Christmas time to the attendees and announced that he was donating plastic surgery to be given away in a drawing of the people that attended the Christmas party. Peggy won. She set about scheduling and coordinating the surgery over the next few months. She lost another 20+ pounds of excess skin.
There are numerous other group members that I still keep track of through social media, but I have lost track of one man that I was most impressed with. I don’t even remember his name at this point (due to old age), so I’ll just call him John. John was one of the major success stories of the group. He had lap band surgery. If you recall from a previous post, lap band is one of the least successful methods of weight-loss surgery. That didn’t stop John. He lost over 600 pounds and in spite of large chunks of excess skin that remained wore shorts and t-shirts to our meetings. The last that I heard about him was that he had saved enough money to have plastic surgery. I wish that I knew how that went, but he quit attending meetings.
Success stories are great and there were many others told during our group meetings, however, the biggest benefit of attending was the first hand knowledge that people shared and the words of encouragement when things might not be going exactly as planned. If someone was having a problem or had a question, there was almost always someone that had an answer. We always went around the room and asked each person to share their weight-loss numbers. Peggy, dutifully added them up on her calculator and would announce the total. We would celebrate no matter what the number was, but it generally was over a ton for our group.
One of the things that we often shared in the group was recipes for foods that we could eat and especially those that contained high protein levels. It is important to insure that you get enough protein after Rouen-Y Gastric Bypass since part of how it works is to reduce the absorption of the foods that we consume.
As the “researcher” of the group, I found a recipe for Peanut Butter balls. They were a concoction of peanut butter and high protein powders such as whey, then, if you so desired (and I did), dipped in sugar free chocolate or rolled in Splenda or both. They were a big hit when I shared a batch with the group. I will be posting this recipe in my recipe section and will hopefully remember to come back here to include a link.
Physical Achievements and Setbacks
In my previous post, I told my story of riding the Hotter Than Hell 100. It had been a pinnacle of my life to achieve this feat. My legs were strong and I continued to bicycle and even bought a recumbent trike. The trike was slower, but oh so much more fun. I continued to ride for a year or more, however, one winter I quit due to the extreme cold and told myself that I would continue in the spring when it warmed up. I didn’t. I have tried to get back to cycling a few times, but have failed to renew my interest. Moving to the Ouachita Mountains of western Arkansas has further complicated my desire to ride again due to the terrain and narrow winding highways. They just aren’t safe.
I also briefly set a goal of running a marathon several years ago. I did my research and found a plan that fit me. It included a phone app that would not only keep track of distance and time, but also help set the pace with audible alerts to walk, jog, run, slow down, etc that gradually increased in duration and intensity. I was doing pretty well at it and was running 6+ miles a day when my wife received the news that she had breast cancer. I didn’t drop the plan, but actually included her radiation appointments into it. I would run to her appointments. Unfortunately, my heart just wasn’t in it anymore and I quit.
The Impact on Self-Image and Relationships
This next subject is one that isn’t talked about much, if at all, but many Bariatric Surgery patients experience it. Significant weight-loss changes ones self image for the better. The issue with this is that it often results in expressing this new self-image in ways that are detrimental to friendships, relationships and even marriages.
I’ve observed several women that had lived with obesity from childhood suddenly change because they could actually buy clothing off the rack at Walmart or other finer department stores. The issue becomes that they then either find clothing that was popular when they were teenagers or that express their sexuality to an extreme. People begin to talk behind their back about the new appearance and sometimes make jokes or even exclude them from social interactions.
Many bariatric patients are older and people see this change in style as being inappropriate for their age group. Personally, I believe in the adage, ‘you do you and I’ll do me”. I won’t judge you for being you, but just a warning that there are social consequences to these choices just as there are with many other choices.
Another observation (myself included) is that mostly men, but women as well, find that their spouse or significant other, isn’t on the same journey. This leads to dissatisfaction with the relationship, both emotionally and physically. My wife and I divorced in 2017 after 38 years of marriage.
Another close friend that I had encouraged to have bariatric surgery after I did, found himself in the same boat. He and his wife of 30+ years divorced. We both remarried shortly afterwards. The new self image wasn’t the only factor in my divorce, but more of a beginning of the end of accepting compromise. This is more of an exception than not, but be warned that it is a possible side effect of extreme weight-loss.
Ongoing Weight Management
My weight has remained more stable than it did in the years prior to my surgery, but I have still been through some lesser yo-yoing. My lowest weight actually hit 175 pounds after the Hotter Than Hell ride and has been as high as 250 pounds. I have struggled with various food and alcohol related weight issues (beer packs significant carbs on fast). I have resorted to trend diets such as Keto. Keto works well, but for me at least it isn’t sustainable and I eventually quit. Weight Watchers is another great diet program, but after being discouraged at one of the meetings by a leader’s comments directed towards me, I just haven’t returned to it. I have found that my good old stand-by, common sense food choices combined with self determination works well for me. Just this year I actually hit the 250 pound mark, but rather than buy that next pair of jeans, I set myself down and laid out a plan to get back to a reasonable weight. I would like to be under 200 pounds, but I’m comfortable in the 215-220 range.
Moving Forward
I still don’t deal with stress very well, but eating isn’t my go to panacea. I still push my stress deep inside and let it explode on occasion. Obviously, this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with stress. I guess that I need to do some research.
Keeping busy and writing does seem to help a a bit though, so stayed tuned for more detailed investigations into a broad range of subjects that I have personal experience and knowledge about. I will be adding well researched posts on topics related to health, weight-loss, diet, exercise, cooking, tech, sport activities, aviation, hunting, fishing, life on a small ranch in western Arkansas and more.
Future Content Plans
I will be researching and testing various products and services in the future. Though I don’t monetize my personal stories, I will be including purchase links (affiliate links) to products and services that I recommend. Hopefully, I can build a trust relationship with you and if you find my reviews helpful, I would be very appreciative if you would purchase through any links that I provide or other advertisements that might occur on this website.
My promise to you is that, I will never recommend a product or service that I don’t believe in, just to make a few pennies. I will honestly express my truthful opinions as well as the results of my research.
I will also faithfully listen to feedback (pro and con) about my writings as well as being open to researching things that interest you.
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